Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
