What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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