Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
