You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
