I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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