you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize