So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
