Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
