Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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