But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
