Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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