Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They took my balls.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
