also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
