just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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