Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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