and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
