Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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