No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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