i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
