WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
