Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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