Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
