I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
