singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
