just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
