What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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