what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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