you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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