There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
