I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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