I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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