Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
