Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
