C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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