While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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