She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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