I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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