So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
