guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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