I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize