Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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