Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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