some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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