I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
