a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
