two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
