we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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