hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
