His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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