do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
