Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
