Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize