when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
