idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
