____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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