Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
