ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
