Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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