I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
