Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
