Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
