well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
