i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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