Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
