the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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