another moral hangover. fuck.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
